Having both.

"I think love can come fairly easily and grow - but really liking the core essence of someone is a much harder thing to bottle. If you have both, you're in pretty good shape." -- actor Eric Bana, on being happily married.

I came across the above quote in today's edition of The Miami Herald; and it struck a chord with me. It reminds me of what people have told me over the years regarding love and relationships; and what I now know to be true. Its that your significant other should also be one of your best friends. There are all kinds of situations. Whether yours is friends first, then lovers second; or starting out as romantic and friendship forming later, one thing is true for all: you need to truly LIKE the person and who they are. I am a lucky woman to have both with Shawn.

(And thanks Eric Bana, for putting it so nicely!)

I once read a profile of a photographer who traveled extensively with his wife. I don't remember his name. I don't remember why they traveled so much, other than to say it wasn't for photography. He was a recognized artist as a photographer and I remember he defined his photography by the original definition of amateur: A passionate love of what one does regardless of monetary gain.

When he would travel with his wife, he would never photograph the Grand Canyon or vistas they would visit. His camera never left the bag as they stood on the Giza Plateau. The second they entered a hotel or restaurant, he would begin a fly around the room, snapping away in a flurry of flashes while he ducked and dodged and giggled. She reportedly never understood his behavior and would just shake her head and to stay out of his way. One day, as they were standing near some monument or landmark or national point of interest in some foreign land, she asked why he never photographed these glorious sights they would probably never return to. His answer will stick with me forever, even if his name hasn't.....

"I can find a picture of the Grand Canyon, or the pyramids, or this beautiful view in any of a dozen books anytime I want should I forget what they look like. But no matter what book I open I will never be reminded of the bible in the hotel room or the detail in the table mats where we ate lunch..."

As I was thinking about the future with Jen just a few feet away, I thought of the pictures we took that day. Pictures of us together near Coit Tower, pictures of our lunch at Boudine's, and I realized when she left a few days later its not the grand vistas that I will miss the most, but the little things of hers that were surrounding me at that moment...

Photo Booth, SF Museum Mechanique, Aug 2009

Jen and I found a photo booth on Pier 45 at the Museum Mechanique. I had never used one before and I was surprised to find that this particular one included a sepia bath for archiving! I expected it to be a chemical B&W process (I once had to repair an old Kodak photo booth while working for Noritsu), but I was very surprised to smell rotten eggs when the strip came out of the booth! It was not sepia toned enough to change the blacks to brown, but we both smelled the tell-tale odor. When we scanned the strip, the texture of the paper showed on the scan as specular highlights, which should make for an interesting print....